It was February 2021 when I first started Hafe-Kasi Writes. I was holed up in an Airbnb in Ruislip and experiencing my second winter in London. I had been trying for months and months to arrange a repatriation flight back to Tonga since June 2020 without much success. At that point, I was just a rickety bag of nerves and anxiety.
I’d been writing (mostly journal entries and other scribbles) when the Covid-19 global pandemic happened while I was in the middle of doing my Master’s, around March 2020. It was therapeutic for me to write, especially something informal and casual that was different from my dissertation paper. However, after submitting my dissertation, graduating and still stuck in London, I was running low on things to do other than worry about my repatriation flight. I needed something to do, a creative outlet, otherwise, my depression and anxiety would consume me.
I started by sharing a few things I’d written on my Instagram page, but I never had any intention to start a blog. A blog seemed like a bigger commitment and if I’m honest, I’m an ultra-lazy person and I can’t be arsed about a lot of things. However, after some encouragement from friends, I started building up my blog. I learned some new things, and it was a good distraction for me. I loved learning about how to build my website, how to design my blog site and how to make it easily navigatable and visually pleasing (at least, I think it looks visually pleasing lol).
I worked on my blog and wrote a lot, mainly for myself, to release my anxious thoughts and nervous energy somewhere else. Even if there were only 5 views, I wrote, because I wasn’t writing to impress anyone else. I was writing for me, and for my mental health.
However, it was a pleasant surprise when I got DMs from people who told me they actually liked reading what I wrote! I literally cried when I got my first message! It makes me intensely happy when I read your messages! I don’t do Facebook, so my sister and friends share what I write on their pages. They send me the responses and comments, and it makes me feel like I’m doing something right.
Here we are today, 50 blog posts later! I'm still a bag of nerves and anxiety, albeit a smaller one than when I first started this in London. 50 blog posts later, I’m not going to make promises, like “I’ll write every week” or “Updates every Tuesday!” when I know full well my lazy arse won’t. I just hope I can keep writing another 50 more and continue this for as long as I can.
To wrap up, thank you for reading this far! Thank you for being part of my Hafe-Kasi Writes blog journey. We may have met in real life, or we may have not. Either way, I appreciate you. Thank you. From the bottom of my anxiety-ridden, Hafe-kasi little heart, thank you.
Until next time. ‘Ofa atu. 'Ofa lahi atu.
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